Someone once asked me what is harder to let go off,
People, things…or memories.
If I had never known you, I would have said people.
And only because it felt right.
Maybe I did care about what people think,
Maybe I did not want them to think me cold.
Now I lie here, staring at the ceiling,
with that crushing feeling.
Unchanged by the fact,
that it was me who left.
I knew you weren’t the one.
But maybe, just maybe,
the one is a stupid thing,
Maybe good enough is all we ever get,
And all that we should hope for.
I remember the things you said.
You loved the way I held you,
You said you felt safe.
I never felt like a shield,
But I was happy to be one for you,
For a little while anyway.
I replayed the hundred ways
Our lives could have been different.
Another place, another time,
I wish you said yes the first time,
I wish now we had more time.
There is a reason I have learned to forget,
I would say it is you,
But I can’t give you credit, not yet.
Forgetting is a process,
Not something to buy off Amazon, 30% off.
So I will lie here a little longer,
Weighed down by your memories.